George's HealMyLife book
- a manuscript in process on Listening Prayer Therapy - Chapter Seven
You are invited to read and comment on this version of George's
HealMyLife book and to e-mail George click on: with
your comments, edits and suggestions.
Just copy this page into Microsoft Word, edit and comment, and e-mail
to me:
In the summer of 2012 there will be a Listening
Prayer Therapy Conference to learn in
person from George Hartwell. You will be at a retreat setting
for 5 days. Presentations will cover the material in the
HealMyLife book but with an opportunity for questions of the
author. Practical input will include group prayer and
opportunities in small group to practice the skills of Listening
Prayer Therapy.
What do these have in common:
Finding intimacy in marriage, building community in a group and
developing communion with God? Are there common principles for
establishing life-giving, encouraging, creative relationships like
this? I will outline what I believe is the narrow road to
community, the not easily discovered science of building intimate
connection, and the work that we can do to build a deep
eternal-life-giving relationship with God.
I think that we have forgotten what
authentic community is like and how to get there. The inner
human capacity for intimate connection and authentic bonding seem, in
many of us, to be lost. We seem to have lost the art of
developing emotionally nurturing marital bonds, healthy attachments -
a safe intimate connection. Our plight is serious. We
desperately need something and we do not know how to find it with God
or one another.
The difficult thing to face is that
getting married does not guarantee a safe haven for one's soul,
getting 'born again' does not guarantee the experience of love, life
and joy that one might expect, just as smiling, shaking hands and
saying everything is fine to one's church community does not build
real community. Pretending everything is fine is not an option
that works to build authentic marital bonding, creative community and
life-giving connection with God.
I speak from my own
experience. In my family, (I have five siblings) "being
together" is as close as we get to being a loving family.
In my marriage, we blocked and avoided almost anything that would
have helped to develop a close intimate emotional bonding. Nor
have I known a church congregation that knew how to build real
community or was willing to try.
When Jesus said the road was
narrow, he was not kidding. It has been both narrow and
hidden. What we have done so far has not worked.
"Wide is the road to destruction.' We need to find a new
path and a new way to move towards the future of marriage, the future
of church and the future of connection with God.
Let us look together at some
signposts into this new landscape.
Renouncing, Emptying and Brokenness
Brother Lawrence seemed to live out
the secret of a continuous loving relationship with God. He
tried to share what he lived in his book. Therefore, we need to
study carefully and methodically his book on the practice of the
presence of God. What is the pearl of great price that he discovered?
One thing that Brother Lawrence
said was, "The most important part (of his manner of going to
God), lay in renouncing, once and for all, whatever does not lead to
God. This would allow us to become involved in a continuous
conversation with Him in a simple and unhindered manner."
Page 19 of The practice of the presence of God by brother Lawrence.
Renouncing means removing from the
heart everything that would offend God. The purpose of
renouncing is to open the way to heart-felt communion with God.
This signpost to an intimate
relationship with God (unity, emotional connection, part of the vine,
open communication) suggest the importance of identifying,
confronting and renouncing personal obstacles to that communion.
It is all about "take a look at yourself and you will look at
God differently."
Scott Peck gained experience about
community building and shares that in several of his books. I
read and reread so as to glean from his experience.
Scott Peck discovered a crucial
step of brokenness or emptying when facilitating community building
in groups. Groups that experienced community always went
through a process of emptying or brokenness. Breakthrough to
community got closer as more and more individuals were honest and
open about their wrong attitudes and agendas for the group. As
more and more members of the group partook in this process (what Peck
called 'brokenness,') community was more likely to develop.
Community only happened when there was good facilitation that guided
the group through this process.
The early Methodists earnestly
sought to remove of anything that stood between them and God.
For them the process involved surrendering anything that came between
them and God. Anything they held on to too tightly would be
surrendered until they felt this peace. A mother perhaps needed
to surrender her children if they were an idol in her heart. A
husband may have needed to surrender his job and wealth if it came
between him and God. Every 'idol of the heart' needed to go.
Jesus gives us his own example of
emptying. Paul calls the church in Philippi (Philippians 2) to
unity - "being of one accord, of one mind" - and points to
Jesus, the humble servant as their model. We see that example
in Jesus when He emptied himself of all power and status, humbled
himself, took the role of a servant and washed his disciple's feet.
John 13.
I have a growing conviction that
the early church always bloomed in the midst of authentic
community. Paul underlines and reinforces the attitudes that
enable community when he uses language such as: comfort of love,
fellowship of the Spirit, affection and mercy, being like-minded,
having the same love, being of one accord and of one mind.
Philippians 2:1, 2.
It is clear to me that Paul is
passionate about these authentic communities and highly prizes
community-building attitudes for his churches. He reinforces
the servant attitude, in which one lays down selfish ambition and
conceit and "esteems others better than himself." He
says: "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ
Jesus," and describes the servant attitude in Jesus in
Philippians 2: 6 - 8.
Paul reminds us that Jesus gave up
God-status to come in the likeness of a man, gave up reputation to
take the form of a servant and humbled himself in obedience to the
point of death. Then Paul reminds the Philippians (2:14) to do
all things without complaining and disputing, grumbling or arguing.
The Emptying Prayer for Communion with God
Choosing loving communion with God
(to be close to God; to be at peace with God; to have loving
connection with God) we choose to surrender every hindrance between
us and God.
Confession: "Father I
love you. Jesus I love you. Holy Spirit I need you
building up Christ within me the hope of glory. I sin by
falling short of full communion with you, of complete love, and of
full dedication. Please forgive me. I do not want to fall
short. I do not want to be God's orphan. Please adopt me
and call me your own. Draw me near. May I have more grace
to love you more abundantly and exuberantly? May I be your sunshine?"
Declaration: "Jesus you are my
Lord and Savior and with your help I want to remove every barrier
between me and God; anything I cling to that it is time to let go of
please reveal that to me. I do not want to put up blocks to
open communion with God. May I fully receive your Holy Spirit
that your life may flow through me as streams of living water.
May I know peace with God."
Imagination: To process this
in sanctified imagination drama, imagine a place of worship close to
the throne room of God. Let this scene be deep purple for
royalty and majesty. In this place of worship - this sanctuary
- you are bowing to the ground in worship.
You sense that to be near to the
Father's throne room and the source of life, creativity, beauty,
love, wisdom and truth means that God's holiness, as a consuming
fire, burns all sin. You sense that you need a coal from the
fire to touch and cleanse your lips. (See Isaiah 6).
As you bow in worship you begin to
discover any and all that you have held back from God. You
become aware of clinging to anything other that Him for
security. Any sources of guidance you turn to other than to
Him. Any one that you try to control or dominate rather than
let them be free.
Ask yourself if you are prepared to
let go everything that is not pleasing to Him. Tell Him you are
prepared to give everything to Him. Let God reveal if there are
any barriers to communication.
Are you clinging to something other
than God? Let God reveal that.
Do you trust something other than
God? Let God show you.
Do you give Him complete
sovereignty over your life? Is He the mighty king of your
life? Let him affirm that.
Listen for His response.
Notice what you hear, see, feel and sense. Whenever you may discover
what the obstacle is between you and God give it to Him. Do so
with all your heart (use a picture). Give all to Him.
You may find a new calm and
peacefulness. Then let that peace be the sign that all is well
and that you have cleansed out all that you can at this time.
The early Methodists believed that God granted a seal of peace when
communication was open.
Now it is time to delight in the
communion between you and God. To worship. To
listen. To soak. To just be.
Ask if God has a word for
you. Then listen. Practice the following: "Be still and
know that I am God," Psalm 46:10. Let yourself hear and
encounter God and receive who He is within you.
Going Deeper: Peace with Heaven and the Holy Spirit Baptism
We are told that peace is a fruit
of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23). We recognize peace as an
indication of God's guidance and approval of what we are
planning. They associated this peace with being filled with the
Holy Spirit - the Baptism in the Holy Spirit promised in the Book of Acts.
It is a mystery and a promise that
work will become easier for those who are God's children, for
those who are filled with His Spirit. We find rest from our
work. We strive less and achieve more because we are at peace
with God and His Spirit helps direct and empower our action.
Agnes Sanford did not get great joy
out of keeping house, yet when filled with the Holy Spirit she found
she could be at peace and accomplish her housework in half the time.
If you want intimate marital
relationship (unity, bonding, and authentic community) then the
process is to identify, confront and remove personal obstacles to
that union. The next section of this book on Heal My Marriage
will deal with that relationship. It is all about 'take a look
at yourself and you will look at others differently.'
Almost by accident a Christian
psychiatrist became a group facilitator and then trained other group
facilitators in what he learned, which is, how divergent groups
become true communities.
Scott Peck in his work with
large groups sometimes found that peace was present the first time a
group came into community. When a group was entering community,
Peck said, it was as if the Holy Spirit came in to the room.
There was a sense of peace and a dramatic and heavenly altering of
attitudes toward one another.
There is a powerful example of this
in the Book of Acts. The book notes that the 120 in the Upper
Room were "all in one accord" (Acts 2:1) on the day that
the Holy Spirit was released in Jerusalem on the festival of Pentecost.
The above signposts point to this,
that real accord with one another - authentic community and open
communion with God is associated with both peace and the Presence of
the Holy Spirit in abundance. The experience of "Peace
with Heaven" is one of enhanced relationships within community,
enhanced openness to the presence of God and enhanced ability to work
in a restful and effective way.
Going Deeper: An Eternal Life-giving Relationship with God
Does your heart question whether
communion with God is necessary to live a fruitful Christian
life? Jesus gives the clear answer to that question in his
discussion of the vine and the branches in John 15. As the
branch cannot bear fruit of itself, neither can we, unless we abide
in Jesus.
Do you think that we can slip by
without real fruitfulness and maintain our salvation? Jesus
promises a glorious life for those who abide in him. However,
He strips away any alternative to this. The one who does not
abide in intimate life-giving relationship with him is treated the
same way a dead and withered vine branch is. It is thrown into
the fire and burned.
C. S. Lewis puts it quite another
way, "good things as well as bad, you know, are caught by a kind
of infection. If you want to get warm you must stand near the
fire: you want to be wet you must get into the water. If you
want joy, power, peace, eternal life, you must get close to, or even
into, the thing that has them. They are not a sort of prize
which God could, if he chose, just hand out to anyone. They are
a great fountain of energy and beauty spurting up at the very center
of reality. If you are close to it, the spray will wet to you:
if you are not, you will remain dry. Once a man is united to
God, how could he not live for ever? (Mere Christianity)
Listening to C. S. Lewis and Jesus
I, for one, want to get wet and be alive; and not let myself get dry
and dead. But if I find myself in dead places and dying, how to
I find life?
We seemed to have forgotten that
the secret of life. Hanging around, or even actively involved
in churches does not foster a connection with God that gives
life. Many churches and too many marriages maintain the
appearance of life but life is not there. All our skill and
energy goes into creating the sense of community, but not authentic
community and the appearance of 'married' and 'stable family' when
life-giving intimacy is not there.
The chapter draws on Brother
Lawrence's experience of the practice of the presence of God. I
use emptying in reference to Brother Lawrence's statement that we
must renounce once and for all anything that does not lead to
God. His observation is our signpost to communion with God.
Scott Peck found that a similar
process is essential for authentic community in groups. Scott
Peck's experience in building community finds refection in Biblical
references, especially Philippians 2: 1-18.
We will focus on marital unity in
the next section. The same principle applies if a couple is
build a safe emotional haven and real bonding and connection in their
marriage. They need to look at themselves and be humble and
open about their personal faults and stop complaining about their partner.
You are invited to read and comment on early version of George's
HealMyLife book - a manuscript in process on Listening Prayer
Therapy. Just copy this page into Microsoft Word, edit and
comment, and e-mail to me:
George Hartwell M.Sc. is a Christian counselor with a
masters degree in clinical psychology, 30 years experience and who
integrates prayer therapy into his counseling practice.
